Disorder #1

Introdution

This work expresses the confusion and conflict that a trans man experiences when dealing with menstruation.

Every time my period comes, my emotions fall to the lowest point. I feel overwhelmed, ashamed, and afraid that someone might notice. At the same time, my joints hurt all over my body. They hurt so badly that it feels as if my body is falling apart, bone by bone.

During that time, I have no energy to go outside. I cannot do anything or work. I do not even have the strength to clean up or face the pool of “blood.”

For many people, menstruation is a natural part of the body. But for trans men, it can become an intense conflict between identity and the body. The signals from the body may clash with one’s sense of self, making even everyday life difficult.

In the third month after I started taking testosterone injections, my period stopped. That was when I realized that this confusion did not have to last forever. I simply needed time for my body to slowly catch up with the direction of my identity.

This work does not try to provide an answer. It simply presents the confusion honestly.

Comment From the Judge :
Chia-Hsien Yang

Confusion, distress, and helplessness are embodied in the disorderly objects and the person lying on the bed. The blood-stained bedding and clothing remain striking against the bright red headboard.

This photograph gives up the elements of beauty, symbolism, and visual polish that images often use. Instead, through the rough background and numb expression, it presents a raw and powerful lived experience.

The blood, with its associations of life and death, exists alongside testosterone injections and a body and identity that continue to change. At the same time, the everyday experiences of shame and breakdown are brought directly in front of the camera, connecting the body of the trans man in the image with the bodily experiences of countless people beyond the frame.